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When Christmas Doesn't Feel How It Should Feel



I've been meaning to write this post for a little while but... I just haven't.


Today I hopped over to Cait Flander's blog to see if she had written anything just before Christmas because I'M A HUGE FAN (can you tell?) and in her latest post she mentioned Bianca Bass's post Why It's Time We Removed the Pressure Around Christmas. After reading Bianca's post I realized I was not alone in how I felt about Christmastime and it was the kick up the butt I needed to finally write out my thoughts.


How is Christmas meant to feel? Warm, and cozy, and joyous, and special. It's meant to be full of sugar cookies, and gifts, and decorations, and family, and laughter, and good times, and good memories, and Christmas movies, and lights, and hot chocolate. This is what comes to mind when I think of Christmastime and how it should be. When I click on the TV, watch a Christmas movie, flick through the store flyers, or scroll on my Instagram feed this is all reinforced through commercials, and scenes and pictures of people happily decorating their house, spending time with loved ones or baking a big batch of Christmas cookies.


This makes it all that much harder when I just don't feel quite so jolly around Christmastime.


Maybe I'm doing it wrong? Maybe I just don't have enough decorations? Maybe I should bake or make a gingerbread house and that'll get me into the spirit? But no matter what I do my Christmas doesn't seem to match up, and it often leaves me feeling disappointed and lacking, instead of grateful and full. Social media and commercials don't show the real side of Christmas: the burnt food, the forgotten Christmas cards that were meant to be sent weeks ago, the messy house, the family arguments, and for some the loneliness and sadness the holidays can bring. Instead they sell the promise of a perfect Christmas when really Christmas is just like every other day: real and raw and messy and unpredictable. For years I have tried to have that perfect Christmas, and it still hasn't happened so this year I surrender, and I'm letting go of any and all expectations for Christmas. I'm going to take lots of deep breaths, I am going to say thank you over and over again for all that I have to be grateful for, and I am going to really reflect on one of my favorite quotes



"
Watch the waves in the ocean. The higher the wave goes, the deeper is the wake that follows it. One moment you are the wave, another moment you are the hollow wake that follows. Enjoy both, don't get addicted to one. Don't say: I would always like to be on the peak. It is not possible. Simply see the fact: it is not possible. It has never happened and it will never happen. It is simply impossible, not in the nature of things. Then what to do? Enjoy the peak while it lasts and then enjoy the valley when it comes. What is wrong with the valley? What is wrong with being low? It is a relaxation. A peak is an excitement, and nobody can exist continuously in an excitement ~ Osho

I am going to completely relish and enjoy the valley and the relaxation of the Winter season. I am going to take things slow. I am going to enjoy a steamy bath. I am going to read. I am going to go for long walks. I'm going to look out for all the little things and practise gratitude. I am going to nap. I am going to practise self care, and I am going to say BAH HUMBUG to all of those perfect images of Christmas and enjoy mine in my own way (I've watched a Christmas Carol 3 times this month and am halfway through the book so I have a bit of a soft spot for Ebenezer at this point).

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays however you choose to spend them, and sending lots of love and light your way for the New Year.

Ash


Comments

  1. Karen B.27 December 2017 at 07:38

    My dear baby girl ... You are a amazing person! I hope you had a lovely time this Christmas. I love you to the moon and back. xo

    ReplyDelete

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