Skip to main content

The End of Slow, The Beginning of Surrender


My third slow experiment is trotting along nicely, and I have come to the realization that these slow experiments are not really doing what I thought they would do. I thought these experiments would lead me to a deeper sense of peace and calm, a more present focus on the moment, a way to really embrace the simplicity of things, but instead I just feel restless and a knowing sense that the year of slow although only three months in is already coming to an end. Instead of being disappointed with this outcome, I'm choosing to be grateful. I'm grateful because everything happens for a reason and the three experiments I have done so far have led me to the realize that this may be the end of slow, but the beginning of something else: Surrender.


I have been journaling a lot lately and I find myself often writing 'surrender, surrender, surrender'. Writing those words feels a whole lot like inhaling calm and peace and exhaling anxiety and stress. It is easy to think of surrender as being defeated, giving in, giving up ...but to me it's about letting go of the fight, letting go of control, it is ceasing to resist.


The more I thought about this the more I realized that I resist A LOT. I resist my own feelings, I resist hunger, I resist being a human with flaws, I resist making mistakes, I resist creativity for fear of failure, I resist surrendering in moments of frustration because I want to prove my point, I resist being vulnerable... All this resisting has me feeling drained; Drained and empty and confused and like I am not enough (even though I know better, and I know I AM ENOUGH, but I often don't feel it). When I think of surrendering it's like all of this melts away and I am back to being myself and I can breathe easy again.


The year of slow didn't go to plan, but perhaps it is leading me onto something bigger and better for the year than I could have imagined: 2018, the year of slow surrender. So what does this mean now? Well, I don't know! And that is kind of exciting. I will just have to play it by ear, and see how the days and weeks unfold.

"Surrender is faith that the power of Love can accomplish anything even when you cannot forsee the outcome." - Deepak Chopra

Comments

  1. With you 100%, I keep coming back to surrender/acceptance of what is. Over and over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you can relate! I've often heard that unhappiness comes from not accepting what is and wishing for it to be different, so I think surrendering and accepting will go a long way for me! Thank you for sharing, and hoping that acceptance has brought you happiness :)

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Back Into Alignment

Alignment. That is the word my mind had been searching for, for weeks. Something had felt off, something didn't sit quite right, something felt a little out of place, something felt out of ... alignment . It is amazing how sometimes all it takes is for our minds to think of a single word and suddenly and all at once it allows us to see the truth of a situation. As soon as I found the word alignment something clicked into place; I had a light-bulb moment, and knew exactly why I had been feeling like I was in a funk of sorts: I was out of alignment with myself. For me being in alignment means having my thoughts and beliefs match up with my actions and how I live my life on a day to day basis, and somehow as if it crept up on me out of nowhere I was no longer in alignment with myself. As I began to think of all the ways my thoughts and beliefs didn't match up with what I was doing I understood why I had been carrying around this irritable and weird feeling in the pit of m

Good-bye New Years Resolutions, Hello 30 Day Challenges

Good-bye New Years Resolutions and hello 30 day challenges! I'm a huge fan of the sentiment that you can do absolutely anything... for 30 days . I came across this Ted Talk by Matt Cutts and felt thoroughly inspired. I completed several 30 day challenges in 2015/2016 after watching the video (giving up meat, keeping a gratitude journal, staying off of social media and giving up coffee) and each challenge has been a great experience. Instead of coming up with another new years resolution that I know I won't keep in 2017, I want to complete 12 30 day challenges - one a month for the entire year, and I am SO excited! At the end of each challenge I will write a post about how each of them went including how difficult or easy I found them, any tips and tricks I came up with along the way and what, if anything, I learnt from the experience. Here are the challenges: 21 Day No Complain Challenge I first read about this challenge here . This is a 21 day challenge

Followers